CRIMSON TIDE PRIDE: 2008-11-02

Hey guys & gals just a quick note before we get ready to rock LSU into the bayou & make em cry. If you have a web cam and you drink heavily and you have a face only radio would love & a voice that would make Dusty Rhodes slap you .... maybe JUST SAY NO!!! Before deciding to make a youtube video hollering how great our wonderful crimson tide football team is. Now Im not really sure if he's serious about loving the tide or just decided to make all tide fan's look this way .... This video is not here to promote it ... on the contrary its here to serve as a stark reminder why you shouldnt let friends drink & cam ....

Following the video is a poem someone wrote (dr. seuss style) authored by our best buddy Former Tennesee coach ... Phil "fatasshole" Fulmer.

""Canned I Am" - A Poem from Phil Fulmer

Canned I am,
To my own ill.
Did you hear?
They canned Fat Phil.

I am canned.
Yes I am.
I am crying on the cam.

I am canned,
Canned I am.
I do not like it.
I love ham.

Do you like them without pause,
Do you like the UT Vols?

I do not like them,
Canned I am.
I do not like them,
Man-for-man.

I was canned by trustee troll.
I was canned by popular poll.
I was canned right from my goal.
I was canned right from my role.
I was canned from the job I stole.

Did you steal it,
Canned-I-am?
Did you steal it,
From within the fam?

I stole it just as I planned.
I stole it for two hundred grand.
I stole it before the UT band.
I stole it before the UT stands.
I stole it right from Johnny's hands.

I stole it because I had the balls.
I stole it to coach the UT Vols.

Will you coach them in a bowl?
Will you coach them up the poll?

I will not coach them in a bowl,
I will not coach them up the poll.
I will not coach them in the rain.
I will not coach them in a game.
I will not coach them to a loss.
I will not coach them as the boss.
I will not coach them run the ball.
I will not coach them, not at all.

I would not, could not, win a game
I would not, could not, take the blame
I would not, could not, if I tried.
I would not, could not, so I cried.

I could not, could not, save my hide.
I could not, could not, stop the Tide.

I am not happy.
I am full of regret.
I am not hungry.
Is it Thanksgiving yet?

Did you rat them,
Canned-I-am?
Did you rat them to the man?

I tried to rat them to my pop,
I tried to rat them to a cop.
I tried to rat them so they'd flop.
I tried to rat them so they'd drop.
I tried to rat to make them stop.
They tried to out-cheat Rocky Top.

Who will give my boys their aid?
Who will make sure they are paid?

Will you help them,
Canned-I-am?
Will you help them, to a man?

I will not cheat them to a sale.
I will not cheat them out of jail.
I will not cheat them to not 'Fail.'
I will not cheat them to make bail.

I will not buy them an Escalade.
I will not buy them to get paid.
I will not buy them a good grade.
How much for the marmalade?

Can you coach them,
Canned-I-am?
Can you coach them,
Ever again?

I cannot coach them,
Canned I am.
I cannot coach them,
Worth a d---.

I cannot coach them like a hick.
I cannot coach them like in a flick.
I cannot coach them at Red Stick.
I cannot coach them vs. Richt.
I cannot coach them vs. Nick.
I cannot coach them worth a lick.

I cannot rat when teams out-cheat.
I cannot bring myself to eat.
I cannot leave this KFC.
I cannot drink enough gravy.

I will drink it when I foam.
I will drink it when in Rome.
I will drink it in a Dome.
I will drink it in a halfway home.

Canned I am, I can't believe.
Canned I am, by bright-orange bees.
Canned I am, right to my knees.
Two more orders of cheese-biscuits please